Monday, September 8, 2008

Dance ... me ... musings ...

I've never posted a writeup exclusively dedicated to dance. With all the declarations that I make about dance being my passion ... I thought it was high time I did. So here goes.

Imagine a pot. Now imagine its surface riddled with a thousand holes. Now imagine a really really Really bright light. Now imagine the thousand holed-pot placed mouth down on this brilliant source of light. What do you see? Light shoots forth from the pot. The light does not belong to the vessel. But it illumines it. Now imagine the holes melting away ... unable to take the heat of the rays. Soon the body of the pot is gone. And there is only ... light. That, my friends is dance... to me.

It rises from within you and fills you and then seeps out of you. And soon ... it becomes you. Dance to me is a way of life. It lights up my heart, mind and soul. And if I keep on with it, it'll erase the difference between the three. It takes me to a blessed place from where I have no wish to return. But I do. Sigh. I think its heaven. But it seems more than that. Cannot describe the feeling. Is this what they call Brahman? But those who taste Brahman loose their interest in everything otherwise right? That's what the scriptures say. Then how could I've felt That, when I'm clearly still amongst the mundane? Hmmm.

I feel energy ooze out of me when I dance. But I feel like I'm being restricted in this body ... in this cage of flesh and bone. I want to soar ... I want to fly ... I want ... to dance. When I portray the rasa-leela, I am Krishna ... I am Radha. When I dance to the celestial Jagadaanandakaaraka, I am Rama ... I am Sita ... I am Thyagaraja. For when I dance ... I... am.

I exist when I dance. I simply get along when I'm not. To dance is to live ... to breathe. To be. I do not want to away from this wonderful art O Rama ... be kind to me O Blue Hued One ... and let this art practiced by Nataraja himself be a part of me. Let it seep into me ... let it rule me. I do not want accolades, I do not want applause from a crowd. I wish to dance in front of Thee ... You are my audience ... You are my Guru. You are my Nattuvanar ... You... are me.

Am I allowed to speak like this? They say only the Enlightened ones are supposed to speak of God and Themselves as One. And whatever light is within me, sure needs a spark-plug replacement sometimes :). Every mudra is a mantra to me and it pains me when someone doesn't do it right. But then again ... what is right? What is wrong? Only my perspective is the veil that separates the two.

Is he who teaches us dance the Guru? Or is it Dance itself that shows us the way? Is the Guru the Giver or the Given? Again ... hmmm. I think dance is way of bhakti. Of wanting to worship He who created You, through movements of your body. It is the most profound and the most powerful representation of joy because your entire body responds to the call of the Divine. Gaurang, Meera, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa ... all the Greats danced in ecstacy.

And I want to do the same. I want to dance for me. Because it is me.

8 comments:

sthitapragnya said...

Consciousness is Brahman. 'Natyam' is your expedient to attaining that consciousness, hence Brahman. So, dance to Nataraja's Natuvangam in the Hallways of Eternal Bliss (Chitsabha) and realise yourself! He will take you with Him.
So dance! Dance away to Consciousness (Pragnyanam)!

Vasu said...

I see not many people enjoy dance the way you do. Great to see one who sees the real joy of dance. I read that you were awarded "Nritya Kinnera". Congrats!! I wish I saw at least one of your performance. I hope I'll get a chance.

Best Wishes,
Vasu

Srividya said...

Hi Karthik ... thanks raa ! :) I thought of deleting this post actually ... thought it was too deep and maybe a trifle too personal. But maybe I'll keep it for some more time now. How do you hide a post on this blog anyway?

Srividya said...

Hi Vasu, thanks a lot! :) I heard you tied the sacred knot recently? Congratulations :) And I will let you know 'bout my future dance performances! Thank you for asking! :) Also, could you please give me your email-id?

Vasu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vasu said...

Hi Vidya,
Thanks. I am engaged last month. BTW her name is Srividya too. Yet to tie the knot, probably in December. You can mail me at thisissubbu@gmail.com

rads said...

Nice to see a dance post. Dancing is divine bliss no? :)

What style do you do? Kuchipudi?

Subhaprada said...

I felt as if I had a deep talk with Vidya!

P.S. LOVE it!!! :) :) :)